More of the exact same crap that happens every stupid page of this dumb book. Can’t even think of a reason to write any more creative a description than that.
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Tag Archives: old testament
Judges 2-5
I’m back again again again for the ninth time. Well Joshua has decided to die again, and the lord is going to teach all those scheming Israelites a lesson by sort of punishing them, then rewarding them the minute they complain, then repeating.
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Joshua 22-Judges 1
Long live Joshua, the one who died so quickly! Dr. Joshua Kavorkian put us out of our misery quite mercifully. Also, we’re starting a new book! So far it reads like a bible but hopefully that will change.
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Joshua 19-21
In this short installment, nothing. Well some things but you’ll have to listen to find out. Not that I’m trying to make it suspenseful or something but I truly have already forgotten what happened. Drugs.
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Joshua 14-18
Jesus mother of Moses, Joshua has lost it. I seriously wonder if Moses came back from the dead and wrote this part. Joshua went from 60-0 in 2 seconds. Unbelievable. I might lose my audience because god made his bible so bad. Touche, sir.
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Joshua 10-13
Well it was a full day of murdering for the Israelites so I certainly hope they ate a good breakfast. Sometimes it’s really hard to maintain the level of killing necessary to please Yahweh without your hacking arm getting a little fatigued. Eat bananas.
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Joshua 7-9
Another episode of your favorite goofy, mass murdering Israelites! What will they think of next! Hijinks for this episode include luring an entire army out of a city to burn it down from within, and then murder every man woman and child! OMG, pranked!
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Joshua 2-6
I now worship at the alter of Joshua. This book is SUCH a relief so far. You’ll never even believe what happens…. You’ll never guess…. go ahead, try…. nope, wrong. SOMETHING. That’s it. That’s what happened. I know!
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Deuteronomy 32-Joshua 1
This is it…. the episode we’ve all been waiting for…. FINALLY it’s here… if you don’t know what I’m talking about, I envy you because that means you haven’t been plagued by the wretchedness that is what I’m talking about right now at this very moment
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Deuteronomy 25-28
This is the worst pentatuke I’ve ever read. I can’t wait to move onto another pentatuke… or just anything else. This reading was pretty hilarious though. I’m starting to think maybe Moses made all of this up.
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