Moses…. uh…. talks…. eh, never mind. Nothing to report. Come back later.
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Deuteronomy 1-3
Apparently not realizing that he had already written about it 2 times in his ETERNAL book, Moses proceeds to summarize everything the Israelites have done…. again… in his eternal book…. which will be around forever… he repeated himself again…
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Numbers 33-36
Moses is still buying time; God details some very specific and curious plans for the land his people haven’t gotten around to stealing yet; women can marry whoever they want, provided who they want is their cousin.
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Numbers 30-32
Moses, being told he’s going to die after his people destroy the Midianites, proceeds to wage the slowest war ever conceived; God makes a killing off of killing; Moses is somehow STILL alive after all this, plus 40 years of wandering, much to our dismay.
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Numbers 26-29
Moses is in disbelief. You work with a guy 40 plus years and he stabs you in the back first chance he gets. I mean Moses went to god’s Christmas party every single year. Brought wine. Never came empty handed. And now this. You think you know a guy.
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Numbers 22-25
Well Bofur and Bifur have a little argument about whether or not they should kill the Israelites. God talks to one of them saying they shouldn’t, but somehow this can’t be communicated to the other. This is the entire reading in a nutshell. That’s it.
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Numbers 18-21
God is SO unfair!! He gives Moses this big hard job of being in charge of everyone and getting to eat all their food and have all their money! But think about the responsibility he has to have! Not worth it at ALL! Poor guy!
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Numbers 14-17
Well I’m back but the more important question is where were you? I was here. Waiting for you to tell me to do a podcast. Well somehow those Jews still don’t believe in Moses’s god after all the miracles and murders he has performed for them… Numbers 14-17
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Numbers 10-13
God gives Moses and the Jews a few trumpets to sound whenever they are in trouble which will save them (how has that been working?); god lights a few troublemakers on fire because why not; Moses was a special needs child; BONUS! More names! YES!
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Numbers 7-9
Today’s reading was very repetitive. First I read chapter 7, and it was repetitive. Then I read chapter 8, and it was repetitive. Then I read chapter 9, and it was repetitive. I read chapters 7,8, and 9, and they were very repetitive. Repetitive.
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